A few years ago, I learned of an ancient personality system known as the Enneagram with roots dating back as far as 3,000 years ago. Over the last eight months, I’ve been doing what I would call a deep dive into learning and understanding the Enneagram.     Now, If you talk to anyone … Continued

When I was growing up, I was taught the importance of forgiveness. I can sum up what I believed as: I was supposed to ask for forgiveness. I was supposed to forgive others (especially those I am close to, like family). Jesus made it so I could be forgiven if I believed and asked. Forgiveness was … Continued

  Every day we make hundreds of choices. Some of them (e.g. what to eat for lunch) are relatively mundane. Others (e.g. letting go of destructive patterns of living) are potentially life-changing.   In my graduate school courses, I learned a counseling method designed to help addicts take steps toward recovery. Research shows that Motivational … Continued

My mission statement is: “I create environments of truth, grace and blessing to facilitate deep connection and healing.” As a part of my mission, my wife and I have helped thousands of couples in our experiential retreats and taught hundreds of pastors and counselors how to work better with couples in distress. More than four … Continued

Coming out of my recent 50th high school reunion, I kept thinking of who I was in those years: Always so carefully dressed with a button-down, collared, dress shirt. Trim slacks. My Bass Weejun loafers. Perfect.   Looking back, I understand now that I was always hiding the younger man who was embarrassed about every … Continued

I’d like to share with you a way of thinking “blocks” and “problems” that has given me great peace, even during difficult times in my life.  I think you’ll benefit from this way of thinking, too. It all started one day while I was talking to my friend Ellen. I mentioned to her that I … Continued

  “You won the lottery!” Those were my surgeon’s words during my surgical follow-up visit after my emergency appendectomy.   What lottery? What are you talking about? I tried making sense of what he was communicating.   My confused look gave me away. He continued, “Your appendix was acute. “   I asked, “How cute … Continued

“You were delivered to the wrong address.” You were intended to be delivered into a perfect world where you didn’t have to work, where all was provided for you and you experienced no pain. Unfortunately, that’s not the world you’re living in, though.   Instead, you’re living in a world where you lose a job, … Continued

Most of us were taught from a young age that it’s good to be responsible. At its core, being responsible means that you are accountable for your actions. In other words, you’re in control of how you act and behave.   Outside My Control Now obviously, there are sometimes external events that happen which are … Continued

Editor’s Note: Last week, Walter Mendenhall wrote about his personal woundedness as a child of divorce and how The Crucible Project has been instrumental in his healing. This week, Walter writes from a child’s perspective and offers tips for families who are currently navigating divorce.   Throughout my early childhood, I witnessed the erosion of … Continued