My mission statement is: “I create environments of truth, grace and blessing to facilitate deep connection and healing.” As a part of my mission, my wife and I have helped thousands of couples in our experiential retreats and taught hundreds of pastors and counselors how to work better with couples in distress. More than four … Continued

Coming out of my recent 50th high school reunion, I kept thinking of who I was in those years: Always so carefully dressed with a button-down, collared, dress shirt. Trim slacks. My Bass Weejun loafers. Perfect.   Looking back, I understand now that I was always hiding the younger man who was embarrassed about every … Continued

I’d like to share with you a way of thinking “blocks” and “problems” that has given me great peace, even during difficult times in my life.  I think you’ll benefit from this way of thinking, too. It all started one day while I was talking to my friend Ellen. I mentioned to her that I … Continued

  When I began writing this piece, I had fully intended to write about something completely different than the “D” word. But I made a commitment this year to write more openly about a struggle I’ve had for most of my adult life. And more specifically, to write about hope and survival.   In 2004, … Continued

  Well, I guess I should get started, right?  I mean … I’ve got this blog post to write and I should do it.  Or, should I? What else “should” I do? Workout? Eat right? Put my dirty underwear in the ‘correct’ place? Stop yelling at my kids? Make that appointment with the financial planner? … Continued

I have realized that my focus on becoming a better man has been all about admitting the truth about the man I had been: Callous Self-absorbed Addictive Personality Narcissistic A Liar   And while I check in with good men on a regular basis — often times I find myself seeing the Shadow more than … Continued

  One of the most painful and powerful discoveries in my almost 10-year transformation journey with The Crucible Project is that I have created the world that I live in.  Anytime I experience pain or find myself doing the things I do not want to do, it is because I am making choices at some … Continued

When you grow up broke, you really never know that you are broke.  Or better yet,  how broke you are. You just figure out ways to feel less and less broke. It is all about perspective and creative imagination so you don’t get so discouraged when you are young.   When I was growing up … Continued

  The calm before the storm. That was the half-hour after supper on most weekdays in the home in which I grew up. Despite my mother’s daily pleas as my father left for work in the morning, Dad did not come straight home after work to have supper with his family. Instead, more often than … Continued

  I recently read about a group therapy researcher who had non-patients he was training (from a variety of helping professions) gather in groups and then complete a “top-secret” assignment. It was the same task he gave patients in his groups to perform. He asked trainees to write down on a slip of paper, anonymously, … Continued