When trying to live a good life and have a positive attitude, we often reflect on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. All three are important and have a huge impact on how we engage in our day-to-day life.  Hard to Shift Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors Sometimes our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are hard to shift. … Continued

Avarice is commonly used to define greed or selfishness in terms of wealth. However, I want to open a dialogue of some lesser known ways where avarice might present itself. Recently I was caught in between a dream and waking up thinking about the story in Mark 10 where Christ is talking with a man … Continued

In our work, we hear the word “blessing” thrown around a lot.  So let’s talk about blessing.  Blessing is love — but love applied in a very specific way. Blessing is love and unconditional positive regard, given to someone (or part of someone) who hasn’t been experiencing it. And as small as that might sound, … Continued

My mission statement is: “I create environments of truth, grace and blessing to facilitate deep connection and healing.” As a part of my mission, my wife and I have helped thousands of couples in our experiential retreats and taught hundreds of pastors and counselors how to work better with couples in distress. More than four … Continued

Coming out of my recent 50th high school reunion, I kept thinking of who I was in those years: Always so carefully dressed with a button-down, collared, dress shirt. Trim slacks. My Bass Weejun loafers. Perfect.   Looking back, I understand now that I was always hiding the younger man who was embarrassed about every … Continued

I’d like to share with you a way of thinking “blocks” and “problems” that has given me great peace, even during difficult times in my life.  I think you’ll benefit from this way of thinking, too. It all started one day while I was talking to my friend Ellen. I mentioned to her that I … Continued

  When I began writing this piece, I had fully intended to write about something completely different than the “D” word. But I made a commitment this year to write more openly about a struggle I’ve had for most of my adult life. And more specifically, to write about hope and survival.   In 2004, … Continued

  Well, I guess I should get started, right?  I mean … I’ve got this blog post to write and I should do it.  Or, should I? What else “should” I do? Workout? Eat right? Put my dirty underwear in the ‘correct’ place? Stop yelling at my kids? Make that appointment with the financial planner? … Continued

I have realized that my focus on becoming a better man has been all about admitting the truth about the man I had been: Callous Self-absorbed Addictive Personality Narcissistic A Liar   And while I check in with good men on a regular basis — often times I find myself seeing the Shadow more than … Continued

  One of the most painful and powerful discoveries in my almost 10-year transformation journey with The Crucible Project is that I have created the world that I live in.  Anytime I experience pain or find myself doing the things I do not want to do, it is because I am making choices at some … Continued