One of the most painful and powerful discoveries in my almost 10-year transformation journey with The Crucible Project is that I have created the world that I live in.  Anytime I experience pain or find myself doing the things I do not want to do, it is because I am making choices at some … Continued

When you grow up broke, you really never know that you are broke.  Or better yet,  how broke you are. You just figure out ways to feel less and less broke. It is all about perspective and creative imagination so you don’t get so discouraged when you are young.   When I was growing up … Continued

  The calm before the storm. That was the half-hour after supper on most weekdays in the home in which I grew up. Despite my mother’s daily pleas as my father left for work in the morning, Dad did not come straight home after work to have supper with his family. Instead, more often than … Continued

  I recently read about a group therapy researcher who had non-patients he was training (from a variety of helping professions) gather in groups and then complete a “top-secret” assignment. It was the same task he gave patients in his groups to perform. He asked trainees to write down on a slip of paper, anonymously, … Continued

  “True surrender, however, is something entirely different. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action. Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the … Continued

  Every significant life change that I’ve experienced was born out of tension, pain, and doubt from a dilemma — about marriage, kids, career, my health, the future and even about God.     I don’t know about you, but I don’t like dilemmas. I don’t like paradox. They’re confusing. Unclear. I feel like I’m … Continued

  Remember Hermey the Elf, from the Rank & Bass stop-motion classic Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?   He’s a misfit who doesn’t want to make toys. He wants to be a dentist. He also declares to Rudolph that he wants to be independent.   One recent week in my life – I was told … Continued

  The Bible tells us to be generous. And, of course, generosity sounds great in the abstract. However, when the time comes to actually BE generous, it’s easy to find reasons to not give. And that’s the trap of generosity. If you get stuck in trap, it will be hard to be as generous in … Continued

    For a time, I believed it was easier to pretend that I was always happy and excited. After all, it made me more likeable and acceptable to others. If ever I thought anger was not an issue in my life, the exercises from my initial weekend spoke volumes that both anger and sadness … Continued

  In 2003, a friend of mine was in New York when the “great Northeast blackout” hit. More than 50 million people lost power from eight states, including all the way up to Ontario, Canada. My friend and his bride were at the JFK airport when everything fell apart. An announcement came over the airport … Continued