My mission statement is: “I create environments of truth, grace and blessing to facilitate deep connection and healing.” As a part of my mission, my wife and I have helped thousands of couples in our experiential retreats and taught hundreds of pastors and counselors how to work better with couples in distress. More than four … Continued

  “You won the lottery!” Those were my surgeon’s words during my surgical follow-up visit after my emergency appendectomy.   What lottery? What are you talking about? I tried making sense of what he was communicating.   My confused look gave me away. He continued, “Your appendix was acute. “   I asked, “How cute … Continued

What affected me most about my parents’ divorce and all the circumstances surrounding it were the feelings of unworthiness I suffered. Since I was a child — and well into adulthood — I have had to deal with the painful emotion, however misplaced and inaccurate, of being unworthy of love.   This led to self-sabotage … Continued

  When I began writing this piece, I had fully intended to write about something completely different than the “D” word. But I made a commitment this year to write more openly about a struggle I’ve had for most of my adult life. And more specifically, to write about hope and survival.   In 2004, … Continued

  Well, I guess I should get started, right?  I mean … I’ve got this blog post to write and I should do it.  Or, should I? What else “should” I do? Workout? Eat right? Put my dirty underwear in the ‘correct’ place? Stop yelling at my kids? Make that appointment with the financial planner? … Continued

  I woke up this morning dreaming. Not a sleeping dream, but the kind that paints a picture of the future. If you google “dream” there is no shortage of quotes from famous people and some not so famous, about dreams. “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” … Continued

  The calm before the storm. That was the half-hour after supper on most weekdays in the home in which I grew up. Despite my mother’s daily pleas as my father left for work in the morning, Dad did not come straight home after work to have supper with his family. Instead, more often than … Continued

  I recently read about a group therapy researcher who had non-patients he was training (from a variety of helping professions) gather in groups and then complete a “top-secret” assignment. It was the same task he gave patients in his groups to perform. He asked trainees to write down on a slip of paper, anonymously, … Continued

  “True surrender, however, is something entirely different. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action. Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the … Continued

Conor: Your stories never made sense to me. The Monster: Because humans are complicated beasts. You believe comforting lies, while knowing full well the painful truth that makes those lies necessary. In the end, Conor, it is not important what you think. It is only important what you do. Conor: So what do I do? … Continued