You never have to ask a 5-year old boy how his day was. Just look down at his feet. Yesterday, I spent all evening with my grandson. Our time was all the more precious because tomorrow he’s moving. He’ll be 12 hours away from us. For four years, my wife and I have had almost … Continued

It is amazing to consider how it is that God made us to be so attracted to people who are different from us. In fact, most of our early attraction includes a decision to find people who are not like the parts of ourselves we least like. Back in the beginning of your relationship, the … Continued

My mission statement is: “I create environments of truth, grace and blessing to facilitate deep connection and healing.” As a part of my mission, my wife and I have helped thousands of couples in our experiential retreats and taught hundreds of pastors and counselors how to work better with couples in distress. More than four … Continued

  I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but with all the books out there on leadership, very little surprises me when I pick up the latest best-seller. Seems like every author just rehashes the same old formulas.   Happily I’ve been reading a book recently that actually covers some new territory. It’s not that … Continued

I have heard for years that managed conflict creates growth.  I have witnessed this as a fact.  I have been in or around many conflicts and in most cases, when the conflict is appropriately handled, all parties involved grow.   In our groups and weekend staff trainings, many times we use the phrase, “Growth Edge.” … Continued

  “True surrender, however, is something entirely different. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action. Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the … Continued

    “It’s so frustrating. I try to help her, but she just won’t listen.”   My friend called to confide in me about a conversation he’d had with his wife earlier that day. Some drama about a problem she had with a co-worker.   “It’s the same stupid thing over and over. She’s intimidated … Continued

  I love my wife of 28 years.  I want to be a great husband.  After almost three decades of marriage, I still find myself in an occasional argument with this person I want to spend the rest of my life with. But why?   Three Truths For every situation in a relationship there are … Continued

  I just don’t know how to act or be around someone who is in emotional stress such as deep anger, sadness, or scare.  As a kid, I wasn’t taught or modeled how to deal with tough emotions.   Normally when my wife is feeling strong emotions I listen but my reaction is to let the … Continued

  I was listening to a podcast the other day and heard something about how our brains work that blew me away. As a husband, father, son, brother and friend, hearing this made me realize all the more how thirsty the loved ones in my life really are for authentic blessing from me.   First, … Continued