I have the privilege of running a ministry that is the largest provider of counseling services to sex traffic survivors in the greater Houston area. Over the years I have met many survivors we serve. Recently, an alumni of our program popped into the office to catch up with us.
As she shared her gratitude for the hope and healing we provided, she talked about the lies Satan had given her through parental abandonment, childhood abuse, sexual exploitation and multiple traumas. She said that the way she dealt with all of that for years was to hustle men, law enforcement, pimps, other women, etc., with false power games using drugs, sex, assaults etc.
Then she said, “You helped me flip my hustle. My needs are still there, but I find my power, importance and worth by helping other women just like me get out of exploitation.”
Hustling In Painful Ways
I’ve never been sexually exploited in the commercial sex industry. But I found myself totally relating to her. The pain of wounds in my childhood left a little boy inside of me that needed so badly to know he is valuable enough to be loved.
For many years, my hustle to get that little boy’s need met meant that I could not receive feedback, felt anxious around others, acted outside of my purity standards and blamed others unjustly. I would turn my perception of other’s rejection onto myself and live in depression and self-hatred.
Flipping My Hustle
With God’s help, The Crucible Project helped me discover that underneath my unhealthy hustling ways was a very lovable and valuable boy who needs me to accept and love him. As I have continued to grow in loving myself, I have been more open to God’s love and love from others.
I’m still on the journey, but my hustle to get my little boy’s needs met has me living and relating in healthier and connecting ways. As I continue to work on accepting and loving my little boy, I am better equipped to help others in flipping their hustle.
Still Needing to Flip Your Hustle?
Sometimes I run across men from Houston who went through The Crucible Project weekend sometime near the January 2009 weekend I attended. They tell me about the mess in their life, in their relationships or in their jobs. Sometimes I’ll hear something like, “I don’t think it helped me that much, I’m still in a mess.”
I tenderly share that the weekend has never been designed as a “one and done.” Flipping your hustle does not happen in a one time event. Flipping your hustle requires you to keep doing your work, continuing your journey, for the rest of your life. And I gingerly invite him back into continuing his work by joining a group, staffing a weekend and participating in second level weekends.
If you do not know your wounds and the needs under your current harmful hustle, isn’t it time that you attend an initial Crucible Project Weekend?
- How have you harmfully hustled in the past to get your little boy’s needs met?
- How has God helped you flip your hustle to healthier and more connecting ways?
- What are you doing that is helping you continue flipping your hustle?
- Is it time you jumped back into soul work and join a group, staff a weekend or participate in a second level weekend.
By Roy Wooten
Roy completed his initial Crucible weekend in 2009 and has been the longtime leader of The Crucible Project community in Houston. Roy and his wife Devra have led over 175 of their Life Together Forever Couples Weekends and are the authors of The Secret to Lifetime Love: Speaking and Hearing Truth. He also authored Full Throttle Into Fatherhood and is the Executive Director of Shield Bearer Counseling Centers in Houston, Texas. Follow Roy at LifeTogetherForever.com.
Photo courtesy of Roy Wooten.